I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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