so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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