I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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