im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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