Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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