Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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