I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
