So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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