I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
