I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
