just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
