did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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