What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
