Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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