Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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