Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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