Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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