I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
