he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
