I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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