i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
