the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
