party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He told me they were just razor bumps!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
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