You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Randomize
