Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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