I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
