if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
