I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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