Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Randomize
