He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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