I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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