Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
