she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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