dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
