He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize