We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
