You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
