is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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