i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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