capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize