I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
soo... how was my night?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
