yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
