so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
