i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We left the knife in your bed.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
