I must be too annoying 4 u.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
high people should be assigned attendants
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Operation Purity has been aborted
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
