Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
