I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
he's gonorrhea incarnate
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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