We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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