I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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