Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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