No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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