he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
