I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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