your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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