I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
