It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
