READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
