I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i came on her dog
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
