I wannas sexs uuuuu
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
