I am puke
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize