we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize