brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
