one might say we're banned from that church
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
